Warm Fuzzies

When I started this blog, I wrote about one of my niblings coming out. It wasn’t a shocker, but I wanted to be sure to convey to them my unconditional support because for whatever reason in this day and age people still apparently have to come out. And my perfectly adorable nibling can’t be free to be who he or she is within her own extended family because of ignorant and oppressive views. Well not in my house, buddy.

Before coming out, we were together when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. We cheered in delight as the nation took a big (and long overdue) step in the right direction on a government level. His or her sibling was with us, not understanding why we cared or that it even mattered. I tried to explain & received a shrug which was shorthand for “it doesn’t matter to me & I may or may not be hungry again” in kid-speak.

And if you haven’t read my little post about my nibling coming out to me, I will take this moment to clarify that I refer to no specific gender for the purpose of my nibling’s privacy. In my other posts, I stay pretty gender neutral when referring to any of my nieces and nephews (or sundry family members) as well, again for their protection and privacy. No shame, just protective.

Well, we reached another milestone around here. One of my siblings (& family) came for a visit. I invited my dating nibling to invite the signficant other to the family dinner. Before I could finish asking, fingers were flying on the phone. Signficant other asked parents, received approval and responded. I believe warp speed was achieved locally that night. Because I’ve never had to hide who I was with (at least not in this respect), I was a little taken aback to be asked if it was okay that this person be presented as the significant other AND did Uncle so-and-so know (of their same-sex-ness).

My response was that they would be in my home and in my home they could be exactly who they were. Always. I wasn’t sure if Uncle so-and-so knew, but I assured them that considering I know my sibling’s spouse has LGBTQ friends that there shouldn’t be a problem there. I added, because I realized that may not be reassuring enough when you’re young and not able to share who you are with everyone in your life, on the off chance that Uncle so-and-so not be okay, I would remove him from my house. My nibling’s mouth dropped. Yep, that’s right kid. I would throw my own sibling out of my house (& so much more) to protect your right to be who you are. Without hesitation. Who you love isn’t something to be ashamed of (In this instance. We all know plenty of straight and LGBTQ folks dating asshats regardless of sexual orientation. But I digress.).

So the day came and I picked everyone up. It was their first extended family get together as a couple. I made introductions and referred to this unknown teenager as our beloved nibling’s signficant other. Not friend. No veiled wordplay. Teenagers grinned then froze, their eyes zeroing in on facial expressions. A polite chorus of “nice to meet you” echoed. The grins turned into megawatt smiles. The earth did not shake. Fingers did not point. Bibles were not thrown at them.  Nibling significant other (from here forward, NSO) called me “Aunt” in front of everyone. I was taken aback, because when it was said, it was like someone new to the family testing out calling their new or potential in-laws Mom or Dad. There was weight and meaning packed into the title. I gave NSO a warm smile and handed over a drink. We piled into vehicles and went to dinner after an hour or two of banter and our resident love birds sitting together. Later, once the out of town relatives were on their way and the grandparents retired for the evening, the teenagers cuddled without a second thought in front of me. I took a ‘mom’ level amount of pictures. Before I dropped them off for the night, I double checked and confirmed which pictures could be uploaded to which social media sites. Zero indication of romantic status could go on ABC. Cute, romantic pics could go on XYZ. I added an extra level of privacy filter of my own and didn’t tag either of them in any pictures I did share.

I got a big hug from my teen nibling when I dropped them off. Later, I was tagged in his or her social media post (on XYZ, where they are openly a couple) thanking me for having them over together. Cool *cough* aunt was suddenly full of the warm fuzzies.