Who Needs Inner Peace?: Resolutions

I've spent my entire life dreaming of becoming a better version of myself, of someone worthy of adulation, accolades, and respect. Basically, someone of value. Someone a young me would like to look up to.

I've made my share of New Year's resolutions, but to be honest there were very few years (probably mainly in my early adulthood) that I thought up anything of the typical go to the gym, eat all the kale, revolutionize my personal finances, clone baby unicorns, completely transform the very core of myself from stem to stern kind of things.

Sticking to new things is tricky. Adhering to completely new patterns of behavior that are healthy/beneficial but take effort? It'd be easier to clone those baby unicorns.

And then, most of us end up back at the same point we are now, only we've compiled the self-loathing, disappointment and guilt by another 12 months.

There is something to be said for a universal restart date, to be fair. Even if you fall off the wagon a month in, two weeks in.... 4 hours in. Sometimes that unified kick in the pants does help people. (Damn you NaNoWriMo and your life lessons!)

So here's my intentions for 2016, along with anything awesome that comes my way in the year (Much like coffee came into my life in 2015. The unexpected but sweet, life-giving gift of 2015):

Uno: Keep on this positivity business. I can't quite seem to shake the sarcasm that runs through my head, BUT, reducing the volume of negativity in my mind and in the space around me has been fan-freaking-tastic. I annoy myself with it from time to time. But I still stand by not wanting to waste the rest of my life being unhappy. Too much of my heritage seems to stem from an unhappy or dark place. I don't want to be a willing participant, so I choose to be positive. I choose magic and hope.

Deux: Create and stick to a solid writing schedule. My life, day to day and week to week is constantly subject to change. I may never be a bestselling author, but I enjoy writing (mostly) and I enjoy how peaceful I feel after I've written. So for 2016 I'd like more consistency in getting that feeling and logging the practice time for my craft.

: Work on another language. I make no secret of my nerd status. I adore history. I own more reference books than most people own... well... regular books. (Shame! Shame on you all!) I also have a very deep love affair with foreign language. Once upon a time (or the 1990s), I excelled in my language classes. Enough that all of my language teachers had high hopes for me carrying on in their footsteps or even being an ex-pat overseas. Mmm, I can still taste that dream. A combination of things happened (the early things legitimately out of my control) and suddenly I'm middle aged and have the merest of marginal grasps of my own native tongue. A few years ago I had what I look back on now as an experience with people briefly passing through my life for a reason. I knew them less than a year before they had to move on, which was a total bummer. But, they were native French speakers. I dusted off a few long retired language skills and they generously complimented my accent. It's entirely possible they were trying to be polite. Doesn't matter. This year I've connected with new friends who speak/sign/read multiple languages. So I'm making my move and returning to something I enjoyed so very much. Learning, a nerd's New Year resolution.

Vier: Read at least a chapter every day & make it through at least 2 library books a month (& hopefully at least 1 book from my at home collection a month). I used to be a voracious reader. Various library systems at my disposal through the years and none of them could keep up with me. Interlibrary loans? Oh yeah, baby, now we're talking. Horror, historic, nonfiction, romance, biographies, erotica, cookbooks, urban fantasy, young adult; I read it all. If I didn't like it, I'd move along. If I could finish the first of a series, I borrowed the rest of the books. I could finish at least a book a day with optimal reading conditions, a few a week if I was super busy. And then the last few years I found myself in a rut. I needed to be in the right mood to read any kind of book, moods which hardly seemed to come around. My to be read lists and piles kept growing, but I wasn't even finishing a book a month. WTF?! I can't take it, so I'm recommitting to getting my reading groove back.

There are of course other less official things to stick with that the new year doesn't impact. I want to continue improving myself in constructive and realistic ways. (Keep taking your vitamins, you cantankerous woman!) Continue to construct and live with healthy boundaries. (You're not an asshole for saying no to users. Say yes to new opportunities, say no to other people's bullshit. Be open and accepting, but not a doormat.) Try new things, explore & have fun. (I don't... I don't really need to go any further with that one, right?) And perhaps most of all, be present. Enjoy each day, enjoy time with each loved one, and enjoy the quiet moments that help to recalibrate me.

He's magical, take his advice.

And my hopes for the coming year, aside from flexing my linguistic muscle (Oh My!) and trying to maintain that elusive inner peace? I wouldn't mind a few magical, miraculous and amazingly wonderous gifts/accomplishments/goals/hopes/dreams coming true. A little something for yourselves as well would be awesome.