Our first company party was with his first job out of college. It was held at what used to be Downtown Disney and had to have cost a pretty penny. We got little drink vouchers for the bar, a dinner buffet, entertainment - and that was before some of the department heads got lit and stumbled around the crowded rooms. I didn't know a single soul there besides my husband and he wasn't comfortable enough with anyone there yet to do more than sit in one spot the whole time. It was a cool idea though, a fun thing to say we did once even if at the time it was a pretty slow night for us.
It was the last event that company held that invited spouses. After that, most holiday parties were in-office potlucks. I think cutting out the company sponsored parties paid for more golf trips for the higher ups. Seriously.
Fast forward several years to my own company Christmas parties. I had changed careers from therapy and non-profits to management. My first party was at my boss' favorite authentic Chinese restaurant. I'm talking chicken feet, octopus, fish eyes, tofu: things this corn-fed Midwestern by heritage/Southern by marriage girl was having a hard time with. My boss loved it. The rest of the office stopped at a drive thru on the way home. Another year my company took a stab at a Disney holiday party. We ate well. We were thoroughly entertained. It was a cool way to celebrate. To this day I think of going to celebrate the holiday season with a visit to the Great Mouse Kingdom nearby because I can't think of anyplace else that does holiday magic as well as they do.
When the economy did a header and my job went away (just like countless others at the time) it was the end of company holiday parties for us for almost six years. And then my husband got a new job. It was my first experience with an open bar. And that's a funny thing about me. To my sheltered experience, an open bar is the epitome of holiday parties. A company means business at a party when the drinks are flowing. I think I may have had one cocktail at two separate Christmas parties. But having spent a fair amount of time organizing and paying for company holiday minutia, I know money was spent here. Money that could have paid for several rounds of golf.
Following the memories of the two Disney parties, my other favorite party had to be at one of our favorite restaurants. It was easily the best food we ever had at any of the parties we'd been to (At least according to my husband. Our second Disney party is neck and neck in my opinion.) At this event, my husband was friends with some of his co-workers (party after anyone?) and we hung out with some of the couples. Silly activities or not, we no longer sat in a room full of people without recognizing a single other face.
So here we are, the first party of his new job. It's the biggest company he's ever worked for. It's one of the biggest companies anyone I know has ever worked for for that matter. And I'll tell you what, they know how to party. I explained to someone today that it was like the biggest, most expensive wedding reception I'd ever been to. There was no stuffed shirt standing in front of a room full of bored employees patting him- or herself on the back for another good year. There was a professional dj & a dance floor. There was an overflow seating area (where we ended up so the department could sit together and actually talk) with a pool table and shuffleboard. There were strobe lights and a projection light with holiday messages. Honest to goodness waitstaff with platters of horse doovers hors d'oeuvres. Buffets with passable food, dessert stands with mixed desserts. Two open bars with top shelf liquor. And a bartender who was totally hitting on me. (My husband noticed, which means she was just short of slapping my ass and shoving her number down my bra. There is a difference between being charming for tips and what that was. Not that it wasn't flattering. Because as a middle-aged married woman, it totally was.)
I met some of the folks my honey works with, awkwardly sitting with other spouses trying to navigate the night. (My husband, bless his heart, on our way home said he thought one of the spouses didn't want to be there because she looked around the room, bored the whole time. Laughing, I asked him what he thought I did all night.) I did end up chatting with a few of my husband's co-workers, some really interesting guys from all over the world. That was probably one of the highlights for me, talking about culture, tech and such with people from almost every continent on the globe. Did I mention it's a really big company? And this was just the local division.
There was one less than stellar moment (awkward shyness doesn't count because that's my thing in general, thank you very much) early on. One of the spouses was trying to be polite and break the silence at the table, so he turned to me and asked if we had any children. Our first holiday party at this place with hundreds of people I've never met is not the place to mention my medical history (Or is it? I tend to think not.). So I gave him a friendly smile and a no, then asked if he and his wife did. He kind of flustered a bit and said something about how I must not want them to mess up my house and then didn't speak to me again the rest of the night.
Um, what?
Now I was actually relieved about the last part. He didn't strike me as the kind of person I could discuss anything from existentialism to fart jokes with. But the (perceived) sanctimonious judgement irked me. I mean, WTF dude?! For all you know I just lost a child. For all you know I had cancer. Or a childhood illness. Or a parasite ate my ovaries. Or my fallopian tubes exploded because of aliens. Or a demon rents out my womb in exchange for free cable tv for life. You. Don't. Know.
This is the first time I've had such a blatant negative response when someone asks me if I have kids. Most of the time it's shrugged off. Sometimes there is a thinly veiled reference to how much easier my life is without them. *snort* *eye roll* *bitch slap* Or that I could take one of theirs.
As annoyed as I was and as much as I considered saying something to him, it's none of his judgmental business.
But all in all, one of our better first Christmas parties. It's nice to see people being nice or joking around with my husband. He's been shit on plenty in his career. And the people watching at a company event this size? Forget about it. Outside of our inner tech cocoon, there were clear plastic platform heels, tutus, pink AND gold lamé outfits, prom dresses and at least one tuxedo with tails. The rest of the folks wore suits and cocktail dresses, so it looked like a cruise dining room fused with a prom. Total writing fuel, boys and girls.
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