Where Does The Time Go?

It's high school graduation season around here and for the first time since I walked across the stage many, many moons ago I've got a stake in this.

Until the last few weeks, I'd been so consumed with making sure this kid, one of my niblings, would graduate that the dizzy brain waves of oh-dear-God-we're-all-HOW-old didn't kick in until now. I tutored. I reminded about homework, make up work, turning in anything and everything. I begged, literally begged this child to grab every chance of extra credit just in case.

This kid did not have my school career. I treated school as seriously as administrators threaten students that they should.*cough* nerd *cough* Permanent record! You'll use all of this! *cough* I aimed to be most likely to succeed until I aimed to just get the hell on with life. This kiddo, not so much. Brains, check. Ability, check. Desire - we've got a runner.

So, to see them stride across the stage and have their name on their diploma is like a partial weight lifting from my shoulders. I'm not tackling the angst of what comes next for a few months, so I'm just going to bask in the relief. And let my brain turn over and over how weird it is that this kid is a high school graduate.

I waited for this kid to be born. I was a nervous wreck driving to the hospital when they arrived. I changed their diaper, held them when they were sick. I watched them grow with a mixture of awe and a deep hope that their life would be so much better than they could imagine. I was there for lows and highs. I hoped that I set some kind of decent example  (something sorely lacking in this kid's life) and taught something, anything positive that would stick with them as they grow.

I know where the time has gone. Every climb up difficult moments. Every tear shed. Every fear of what comes next. Every movie seen together. Every meal cooked together. Every moment of regular life that fills in the space between special moments. I just can't get over that the little chubby cheeked toddler drives, is in a relationship, has been accepted to college and all the rest of it. And I can't believe that I've somehow managed to survive this long after my own high school graduation, navigating the unknown.

And this