Flash fiction - Longing - L

Carter watched the trio approach from the other side of the quad. Marci, Sean and Dina took the bus together from the Wisteria Vistas apartment complex ten miles away from Citron State. They, along with Carter and four other students of the Thursday night HUM 2234 class met up each Saturday morning for study group when the former community college campus was more or less deserted. Carter, along with Greg, Ben, Talia and Kristy, worked full time office jobs and tended to tease the younger group about their carefree schedules. Most of the time they didn't even sound bitter.

Unlike his other, adultier co-students, Sean made Carter think about what life would be like if he were about eight years younger. If someone who looked like Sean and smiled like Sean had been a part of his first college experience. Someone who made him too tongue tied to speak. Someone who made Carter's insides full of butterflies confined by twisty knots. 

And each Saturday, the professional grown up and title processor by weekday would hide behind his laptop reviewing notes on the Enlightenment and stealing glances at the beautiful blonde Adonis who always managed to sit just within his direct line of sight. Marci, it was clear, found Sean equally appealing, but youth, inexperience, and willful disregard blinded her to Sean's lack of interest. Carter was sure it probably would not be her last crush on someone looking for a little... more than she had to offer. Sean goodnaturedly put up with her hands-on flirtations, but wasn't subtle in mentioning how well his dates with the lively Mike were going.  

Carter hated every fiber of the legendary Mike's being.

Watching her rub Sean's shoulders, as she was doing now while they waited for Kristy and her brother Ben to finish up at the often unmanned coffee cart nearby, made Carter's hands itch to slap her own away. He could never be so aggressive. The coke-bottle glasses and overbite might be long gone, but the insecurity remained. So he inched closer to thirty alone, going back to school in his spare time and dreaming about the younger man mere feet away with his whole life ahead of him. He had life insurance and a 401K. Sean had to bum change to ride the bus half the time. But he was so pretty to look at. 

Carter sunk lower behind his screen, praying the flush creeping up his cheeks looked like a sunburn. Sean laughed at a filthy joke Dina told. Something twisted in Carter's stomach, coiling hotly around the base of his spine.

"Your parents must be so proud." Greg dropped down beside Carter and offered the giggling trio a withering glare. Carter nodded silently in greeting to the middle school guidance counselor. Greg's attitude towards the younger group, heavily affected by the hours spent with foul-mouthed preteens, added to Carter's shame in his attraction to Sean. The kid was barely old enough to buy his own beer. But his eyes sparkled with all the brilliance of the finest jewels.