Wish - W

Somewhere between 4 and 6 years of age, I remember wishing on a shooting star for a baby brother. I had been peering out through our front window and after seeing that most coveted of stars, I hurled myself onto the couch and focused every ounce of my being on my plea.

I wished for all sorts of things throughout my youth. To have magic. To find true love. To go on adventures. To be a hero.

And I would argue that between reading and writing (obviously including my marriage for the true love bit..duh..), my wishes are capable of being granted on a regular basis. Except for the whole baby brother thing, which I had grown out of wanting eons ago anyway.

I still have some overriding things I wish for. I wish judgmental people didn't need to express themselves as loudly and frequently as they seem to. I wish more people appreciated and understood that silence can be a blessing. I wish people understood that predators don't need a law protecting a specific group of people to give them the idea to attempt things in restrooms - as the child of an abuse survivor and a friend to a few, all of whom were attacked by relatives/people they knew in their own home, I don't have patience for this bathroom bullshit. If you thought bathrooms were bastions of safety until right this minute, you're living in your own world.

I wish people weren't afraid of something just because it's different or it makes them have to look at the world differently. I wish common sense came in fruit flavors with coupons so more people would try it. But I digress.

On a different scale, I wish I had a chance to talk with my dad's father. Ask him questions I have, get his take on things. I wish I had a chance to talk with my mom's mom, ask her uncomfortable questions about things I learned after she was gone. I wish I knew whether or not my biggest remaining dreams will come true or not, if I should let them go or keep at it. I wish I had some kind of musical talent. I wish I was not so damn self-conscious. Some days I wish I could press pause and grab a couple extra hours.

Lately, I wish I would get more sleep and figure out a better way to balance my schedule. I wish there wasn't so much hate in the world. I wish love would win a little more often. I wish my damn lemon tree would finally grow some lemons.

Is that the problem? Did I buy a demon tree instead??

I wish my husband would stop showing me dogs for adoption because I feel like a horrible person that I can't save them all. I wish animals and children (and people in general) weren't abused or discarded. I wish I could save them all.